How Dare You Question My Perfection - Emily, 2009

Now that is the best quote ever. I know it is and everyone should agree. It bloody rhymes. It's great.

Now I don't have much to say but I want this done before the New Year. I want you all to comment on your favourite songs of the (unfortunately there are some idiots in the world and they came up with this term) noughties. That terms means this last decade so I want you all to comment on your top 5 favourite songs, in no particular order and next post I will write up a list. So please actually comment.

My 5 fave songs are:

• Viva La Vida - Coldplay
• Holiday - Green Day
• Violet Hill - Coldplay
• Dance of Death - Iron Maiden
• Paschendale - Iron Maiden

Ok so you should comment now because I want to make a countdown of the top 5. Ok so bye.

Flick is NOT an elf!!!!

Ok, now you may be wondering why I opened my blog with a statement about Flick not being an elf. Well it all began a couple of weeks ago when I started off a conversation by saying:

"I want a pet elf."

"How about Flick?" Several people said including Rhiannon and Caity.

"Flick is not an elf."

"She so is." It's always their response.

So that is basically why I opened with that, because I want a pet elf and Flick is most definitely NOT an elf. This sought of brings me to the topic of today's Chronicle. Are unicorns girly. Now I realise that you're all thinking "That is the worse transition ever, but anyway why would you even suggest that? They are so girly." Well people who's brains are wired that way, they're not.

Let us all notice one crucial bit of the unicorn's anatomy. The reason it has the prefix uni at the start. Yes that's right the horn and no I am not making a penis analogy. It is why a unicorn is not girly but no sexual innuendos. It is quite clearly a weapon. Imagine a unicorn is attacked by a (because I realise that a unicorn is a mythical creature) a gryffin. The gryffin swoops down and attacks the unicorn but it charges up and stabs the beast in the chest. It would at the very least be severely wounded and have to run off why the unicorn stands triumphant (if they existed).

We can also realise that a horse is also not girly because of a similar reason. People who believe they're girly often site 'The Saddle club' as a reason. However just because a couple of girls rode a couple horses around in that show can not undo the thousands of times horses have been used in battle. War more of a guy thing but girly and guy thing are not mutually exclusive. I just like my arguments.

And while we are on this subject may I just point out one little thing. The idea of a gentle man is sexist as hell. And yet no one realises it. Want me to tell you why. Well it's because girls benefit. Yeah. When the radar starts going it fails to pick up any mention of gentlemen actions because they benefit. I know that it is a useful way to impress that person you like, but I am not going to stand aside and let a girl into a room before me simply because she's a girl. Likewise I will not do most of the stuff they talk about when you are suppose to be a gentlemen. It's insane.

Now I know some say that this isn't sexism it's just etiquette (don't even get me started on etiquette) but whenever you promote one gender over the other for any reason you are being sexist. Let's not go into that realm. There are of course exceptions such as pregnancy (but make sure they are actually pregnant), but bulk of the time it's sexist.

Now I'm bored of ranting now so I will see you another time and remember:

"Stop,

In the name of love,

Before you break my heart."

And goodnight and Solo Guy bless.

P.S. Almost forgot. My brother recently met Solo Guy and when he was offered a solo he declined. We must burn the heretic now.

Module 4 stole my evil!!!

Yay. No more leadership day. Or Crossroads or anything like that (except interviews but seriously, how hard could they be?). So we must all face the facts. We managed to get through the most annoying thing you can ever get. The All My Own Work exam. Evil incarnate. Most of the questions were fairly easy except you had to put down your answer find the answer and then do the next question. This sounds ok until you realise that you need 100% to pass and if you get one wrong near the end of the module you have to go back and to the start and do the whole thing over again. Yay!!!!

This got particularly annoying when one of the questions had the answer in a certain place in the last 3 questions, but then for a lark it decided lets swap these 2 around. It took me about 10 times to figure it out. And yet Module 4 with it's 34 questions that are really hard to work out and most of them are at the end of the test. Evil Incarnate!!!

Also with the whole resilience thing It was particularly mean of the universe to decide to have Caity drag Rhiannon over to particular corner. Here's a hint. The question was not how you felt on a date, but the corner was very awkward. Rhymes with dove.

Ok so leadership day. Not as bad as I thought it would be but still pretty boring. The film clips were particularly annoying. One clip from 'Freedom Riders' and I was just about to cry.

Ok that's about it so goodbye. And remember:

'I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry'

And goodnight!!!

I'm Scared!!

Yes something really scarey has happened. My phone is pocessed.

While on the bus-ride to school I was talking to Abol when my phone just randomly started calling Dwyer. I have no idea why it did this but it did. I had my headphones on and if I press a button it occasionally calls people. But I didn't press it. And the really weird thing was that I gained 15 cents credit. What is happening.

Hopefully someone can explain this to me or I will be force to perform an exorcist on my phone. And holy water burns me.

Ok so bye.

Suit Up!!!!!

Hello all. It is after all the weekend now and most of the assignments are out of the way (the ones that are left act more like class tasks). I'm sorry I haven't commented in a little while, but didn't have anything to talk about. Now I do. Yay.

Ok so first things first. Formal was ok. I know I should probably be saying something like:

"Wow it was the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life"

OR:

"Yeah it was awesome, but some of the song choices were terrible. I mean they had a really crappy remix of 'You Spin Me Right Round'"

But all and all it was only ok. Not the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. Not to mention the food was horrible. We didn't even get a choice. It was more about luck then anything else.

Now for a topic that I particulary liked. The Formal Clothing. So many people in suits. It was pretty good. Mine was a pin-striped black suit with a black shirt and silver tie. In year 12 I want to have a deep purple shirt and completely black jacket and pants. It will be cool.

Also Dwyer actually chose a pretty good outfit. When he first said he wasn't wearing a suit I thought he would look absolutely terrible. Turns out he doesn't because well it just suits him. And short hair sutis him really well.

And then there was Trent. He was pretty awesome when it came to what he was wearing. Black suit, tail-coat, top hat and cane. He looked like a 30's villain. He is a hero.

Now for something else. Chris who didn't you ask to a dance after you promised to if I actually danced. You better ask her out soon. Or else. Dwyer suffers from the same problem except he didn't promise me he would.

Ok what else. Oh yes. The last half hour was terribly boring. I ended up just going outside with Jenny and talking. Which was actually quite a bit more fun than staying inside.

Speaking of Jenny. Funny thing happened on Friday. You see Jenny really wanted to go to the servo to get something to drink so she asks Trent. He doesn't want to go. So 5 minutes later this is what happened:

Jenny: Ok does anyone want to go to the servo with me.

Me: I might as well come. I'm incredibly bored.

Trent: (Almost imediatently after) Oh I'll come.

Sounds like someone is a little bit jealous. He swears that he didn't hear me say anything, but you can never trust people can you.

Another WIERD thing that happened this week was when this happened:

Me: I have a cunning plan.

Chris: Unless it's a farm!!!!

Me: No, I'm fairly sure it's a plan.

Chris. Do not just randomly say something really loud. Remember all the embarrasing situations that Dwyer has been put in because of him doing that.

Ok so I think that's everything so:

It's Curtains for you, Doctor. Lacey, gently wafting curtains.

Goodbye.

P.S. I probably should have commented on the girls dresses but I'm not a fashion expert. Although Jenny and Trent did look like a rich 30's couple thanks to what they were wearing.

P.P.S. Please Emily when you come back update you're blog.

Does Anyone Beside Chris and Emily Still Read These?

Hello everyone and thank you Chris and Emily for commenting unlike the rest of you. Neil I know you read these so could you people please comment. It would be nice. If you don't you're mean.

Ok so I have gotten over my break-up with Rhiannon so I have other things to write out which I am going to put up a warning but I don't really think it's pointless.

POINTLESS ALERT!!!!

Now here's the topic of this week. How we can use quantum physics in everyday life. I know it's weird but here me out. I have figured out a way to save all the endangered species in existence but it does involve Schrödinger's cat.

You see Schrödinger placed a cat in a box with a poisoned fish and came to the conclusion that until he had opened the box the cat was both dead and alive. Therefore if we put every endangered species into a box and never open it the species will be both dead and alive. Therefore no extinctions.

That's all I have for this week so bye.

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, No Just Kidding It's Only the Chronicles of Doom

Well. That was fun(note the sarcasm). Not exactly my favourite thing that has ever happened, but I suppose I saw it coming. Now you may be wondering what I'm talking about (unless you were at school which most of you were) so basically Rhiannon and I have just broken up. Not exactly what I wanted, as I really wanted this relationship to work out, but evidently the Universe hates me.

This is just the latest in a long series of observations that have driven me to this conclusion, most of which I can't be bothered going into. Now the fact that we broke up is bad enough but the fact that it happened within 10 minutes of exactly 2 months since I asked her out leads me to this observation. Also I may be psychic also long series of observations, but I wish it was something like 2 of my friends going out, not this.

So back to this universe hates me deely. Now why is it that no matter what I try to do I can't seem to get to the phase where the universe and me are friends. I make lots of evil remarks it hates me, I try to be good it hates me. Honestly can I ever get a bloody break. Is that too much to ask. Evidently it must be otherwise I wouldn't need to be typing this.

Well I should probably get off this but I do thank the universe for the fact that she broke up with me face-to-face, not through her friends. That at least I can be thankful for.

Now before finish this blog I would like to share I thought I had in badminton today. I can't remember who I said this to but the transcript goes something like this:

Me: This is the 2nd most capitalist idea I have ever heard of.

Guy: What was the first?

Me: Capitalism (I said this in a are-you-kidding tone)

Ok so I guess this is all I'm writing so...

"Communism in a can, the refreshing blast of equality in the morning." Me, 29th of October.

Goodbye (bows to the audience).