Using Mostly Spoons, We Shall Dig a Tunnel Under the City and Release It Into the Wild

I thought I would make one more blog post before the world ends because of our calendar ending (realise that this Mayan Calendar nonsense follows the same premise). So what to talk about besides the short comings of various conspiracy theories (there was no stars because it was day time, it was not photo shopped).

So basically I saw Avatar on Boxing Day, but I really couldn't be bothered posting about it. I did write about other things. So it was a good movie, really cool, 3D is epic although most of the time you don't notice it. But when you do...

Yeah it is a really epic movie. if you see one film this year you should see this one. You have about 8 hours. Go get them boys (and girls; I would say girls too but it just doesn't sound right. You got to keep with the cliches). Now I don't have anything else to really say other than that I will be seeing Sherlock Holmes on Sunday, and I don't care what people say. I've never read the novels and it should therefore still be quite good. Also when I saw Avatar we got to see a preview of Sherlock Holmes. It was fail preview. There was no sound and so it looked cool but I didn't know about sound quality. We got the sound on eventually but it was for the wrong movie so Holmes had a girls voice. It was quite funny. After this we eventually got the proper sound but it still didn't go to well after the massive amounts of fail.

Now as I write on, trying to find out what to write to close this decade, I just want you all to know that this decade as been filled with disappointment and racism. Mostly from America and towards Muslims. I want everyone here to realise that unless we do something now we are just going to sink further and further into ignorance. So my closing words for this decade are: "Leave your stupidity with the doorman."

Bye

P.S. So long and thanks for all the fish.

You Will Find the Machete next to the Flowers

Hello everyone. I really don't have much to say lately so I'm just going to put up the 5 best songs of the decade and then ramble about an emotion that I have felt recently.

Ok from 5th to 1st:

5.Paschendale - Iron maiden

4.Violet Hill - Cold Play

3. Holiday - Greenday

2. Defying Gravity - Wicked

And number 1. Viva La Vida by Coldplay

Ok now that that is over I would like to talk to you all about jealousy. Today I may have seen something that made me a tincy bidy bit jealous of someone. I don't want to go into it and I know there is a completely logical explanation to it (I mean they weren't kissing or anything like that) but my mind has decided not to listen to logic; either that or logic has decided to go on vacation (which is equally possible). Now I would like to know how often is the jealousy emotion felt, because I don't normally feel it (although it has increased in intensity over the past year). So I'm signing out and i hope to hear from you all before the New Year. If not:

Happy New Year!!!!

Goodnight.

How Dare You Question My Perfection - Emily, 2009

Now that is the best quote ever. I know it is and everyone should agree. It bloody rhymes. It's great.

Now I don't have much to say but I want this done before the New Year. I want you all to comment on your favourite songs of the (unfortunately there are some idiots in the world and they came up with this term) noughties. That terms means this last decade so I want you all to comment on your top 5 favourite songs, in no particular order and next post I will write up a list. So please actually comment.

My 5 fave songs are:

• Viva La Vida - Coldplay
• Holiday - Green Day
• Violet Hill - Coldplay
• Dance of Death - Iron Maiden
• Paschendale - Iron Maiden

Ok so you should comment now because I want to make a countdown of the top 5. Ok so bye.

Flick is NOT an elf!!!!

Ok, now you may be wondering why I opened my blog with a statement about Flick not being an elf. Well it all began a couple of weeks ago when I started off a conversation by saying:

"I want a pet elf."

"How about Flick?" Several people said including Rhiannon and Caity.

"Flick is not an elf."

"She so is." It's always their response.

So that is basically why I opened with that, because I want a pet elf and Flick is most definitely NOT an elf. This sought of brings me to the topic of today's Chronicle. Are unicorns girly. Now I realise that you're all thinking "That is the worse transition ever, but anyway why would you even suggest that? They are so girly." Well people who's brains are wired that way, they're not.

Let us all notice one crucial bit of the unicorn's anatomy. The reason it has the prefix uni at the start. Yes that's right the horn and no I am not making a penis analogy. It is why a unicorn is not girly but no sexual innuendos. It is quite clearly a weapon. Imagine a unicorn is attacked by a (because I realise that a unicorn is a mythical creature) a gryffin. The gryffin swoops down and attacks the unicorn but it charges up and stabs the beast in the chest. It would at the very least be severely wounded and have to run off why the unicorn stands triumphant (if they existed).

We can also realise that a horse is also not girly because of a similar reason. People who believe they're girly often site 'The Saddle club' as a reason. However just because a couple of girls rode a couple horses around in that show can not undo the thousands of times horses have been used in battle. War more of a guy thing but girly and guy thing are not mutually exclusive. I just like my arguments.

And while we are on this subject may I just point out one little thing. The idea of a gentle man is sexist as hell. And yet no one realises it. Want me to tell you why. Well it's because girls benefit. Yeah. When the radar starts going it fails to pick up any mention of gentlemen actions because they benefit. I know that it is a useful way to impress that person you like, but I am not going to stand aside and let a girl into a room before me simply because she's a girl. Likewise I will not do most of the stuff they talk about when you are suppose to be a gentlemen. It's insane.

Now I know some say that this isn't sexism it's just etiquette (don't even get me started on etiquette) but whenever you promote one gender over the other for any reason you are being sexist. Let's not go into that realm. There are of course exceptions such as pregnancy (but make sure they are actually pregnant), but bulk of the time it's sexist.

Now I'm bored of ranting now so I will see you another time and remember:

"Stop,

In the name of love,

Before you break my heart."

And goodnight and Solo Guy bless.

P.S. Almost forgot. My brother recently met Solo Guy and when he was offered a solo he declined. We must burn the heretic now.

Module 4 stole my evil!!!

Yay. No more leadership day. Or Crossroads or anything like that (except interviews but seriously, how hard could they be?). So we must all face the facts. We managed to get through the most annoying thing you can ever get. The All My Own Work exam. Evil incarnate. Most of the questions were fairly easy except you had to put down your answer find the answer and then do the next question. This sounds ok until you realise that you need 100% to pass and if you get one wrong near the end of the module you have to go back and to the start and do the whole thing over again. Yay!!!!

This got particularly annoying when one of the questions had the answer in a certain place in the last 3 questions, but then for a lark it decided lets swap these 2 around. It took me about 10 times to figure it out. And yet Module 4 with it's 34 questions that are really hard to work out and most of them are at the end of the test. Evil Incarnate!!!

Also with the whole resilience thing It was particularly mean of the universe to decide to have Caity drag Rhiannon over to particular corner. Here's a hint. The question was not how you felt on a date, but the corner was very awkward. Rhymes with dove.

Ok so leadership day. Not as bad as I thought it would be but still pretty boring. The film clips were particularly annoying. One clip from 'Freedom Riders' and I was just about to cry.

Ok that's about it so goodbye. And remember:

'I can't decide

Whether you should live or die

Oh, you'll probably go to heaven

Please don't hang your head and cry'

And goodnight!!!

I'm Scared!!

Yes something really scarey has happened. My phone is pocessed.

While on the bus-ride to school I was talking to Abol when my phone just randomly started calling Dwyer. I have no idea why it did this but it did. I had my headphones on and if I press a button it occasionally calls people. But I didn't press it. And the really weird thing was that I gained 15 cents credit. What is happening.

Hopefully someone can explain this to me or I will be force to perform an exorcist on my phone. And holy water burns me.

Ok so bye.

Suit Up!!!!!

Hello all. It is after all the weekend now and most of the assignments are out of the way (the ones that are left act more like class tasks). I'm sorry I haven't commented in a little while, but didn't have anything to talk about. Now I do. Yay.

Ok so first things first. Formal was ok. I know I should probably be saying something like:

"Wow it was the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life"

OR:

"Yeah it was awesome, but some of the song choices were terrible. I mean they had a really crappy remix of 'You Spin Me Right Round'"

But all and all it was only ok. Not the greatest thing I have ever done in my life. Not to mention the food was horrible. We didn't even get a choice. It was more about luck then anything else.

Now for a topic that I particulary liked. The Formal Clothing. So many people in suits. It was pretty good. Mine was a pin-striped black suit with a black shirt and silver tie. In year 12 I want to have a deep purple shirt and completely black jacket and pants. It will be cool.

Also Dwyer actually chose a pretty good outfit. When he first said he wasn't wearing a suit I thought he would look absolutely terrible. Turns out he doesn't because well it just suits him. And short hair sutis him really well.

And then there was Trent. He was pretty awesome when it came to what he was wearing. Black suit, tail-coat, top hat and cane. He looked like a 30's villain. He is a hero.

Now for something else. Chris who didn't you ask to a dance after you promised to if I actually danced. You better ask her out soon. Or else. Dwyer suffers from the same problem except he didn't promise me he would.

Ok what else. Oh yes. The last half hour was terribly boring. I ended up just going outside with Jenny and talking. Which was actually quite a bit more fun than staying inside.

Speaking of Jenny. Funny thing happened on Friday. You see Jenny really wanted to go to the servo to get something to drink so she asks Trent. He doesn't want to go. So 5 minutes later this is what happened:

Jenny: Ok does anyone want to go to the servo with me.

Me: I might as well come. I'm incredibly bored.

Trent: (Almost imediatently after) Oh I'll come.

Sounds like someone is a little bit jealous. He swears that he didn't hear me say anything, but you can never trust people can you.

Another WIERD thing that happened this week was when this happened:

Me: I have a cunning plan.

Chris: Unless it's a farm!!!!

Me: No, I'm fairly sure it's a plan.

Chris. Do not just randomly say something really loud. Remember all the embarrasing situations that Dwyer has been put in because of him doing that.

Ok so I think that's everything so:

It's Curtains for you, Doctor. Lacey, gently wafting curtains.

Goodbye.

P.S. I probably should have commented on the girls dresses but I'm not a fashion expert. Although Jenny and Trent did look like a rich 30's couple thanks to what they were wearing.

P.P.S. Please Emily when you come back update you're blog.

Does Anyone Beside Chris and Emily Still Read These?

Hello everyone and thank you Chris and Emily for commenting unlike the rest of you. Neil I know you read these so could you people please comment. It would be nice. If you don't you're mean.

Ok so I have gotten over my break-up with Rhiannon so I have other things to write out which I am going to put up a warning but I don't really think it's pointless.

POINTLESS ALERT!!!!

Now here's the topic of this week. How we can use quantum physics in everyday life. I know it's weird but here me out. I have figured out a way to save all the endangered species in existence but it does involve Schrödinger's cat.

You see Schrödinger placed a cat in a box with a poisoned fish and came to the conclusion that until he had opened the box the cat was both dead and alive. Therefore if we put every endangered species into a box and never open it the species will be both dead and alive. Therefore no extinctions.

That's all I have for this week so bye.

Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, No Just Kidding It's Only the Chronicles of Doom

Well. That was fun(note the sarcasm). Not exactly my favourite thing that has ever happened, but I suppose I saw it coming. Now you may be wondering what I'm talking about (unless you were at school which most of you were) so basically Rhiannon and I have just broken up. Not exactly what I wanted, as I really wanted this relationship to work out, but evidently the Universe hates me.

This is just the latest in a long series of observations that have driven me to this conclusion, most of which I can't be bothered going into. Now the fact that we broke up is bad enough but the fact that it happened within 10 minutes of exactly 2 months since I asked her out leads me to this observation. Also I may be psychic also long series of observations, but I wish it was something like 2 of my friends going out, not this.

So back to this universe hates me deely. Now why is it that no matter what I try to do I can't seem to get to the phase where the universe and me are friends. I make lots of evil remarks it hates me, I try to be good it hates me. Honestly can I ever get a bloody break. Is that too much to ask. Evidently it must be otherwise I wouldn't need to be typing this.

Well I should probably get off this but I do thank the universe for the fact that she broke up with me face-to-face, not through her friends. That at least I can be thankful for.

Now before finish this blog I would like to share I thought I had in badminton today. I can't remember who I said this to but the transcript goes something like this:

Me: This is the 2nd most capitalist idea I have ever heard of.

Guy: What was the first?

Me: Capitalism (I said this in a are-you-kidding tone)

Ok so I guess this is all I'm writing so...

"Communism in a can, the refreshing blast of equality in the morning." Me, 29th of October.

Goodbye (bows to the audience).

DOOM IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello readers of this blog. Obviously most of you are horrible people (Chris and Emily can ignore this), I mean honestly. I gave you the biggest hint last post that you should comment but none of you did. So I am raging at you all to comment. When Emily writes things like this, people comment so I'm hoping you will all now comment.

In other news I have decided to put a new pointless line every time I am just typing to relieve boredom or for random effectiveness. This will come in handy as you should now know when to read and when you shouldn't.

So today I ask you if you believe in life on other worlds. And I'm not talking about little green men that come and abduct people, steal sexual organs from cows and are secretly trying to take over the world by making pacts with the US government. I'm just talking about life on other planets. This can range from tiny microbes to really cheesy-low-budget-scifi-film-style aliens.

Now this question may seem obvious there are many layers to this mystery. Of course you can believe in actual aliens, or you can actually believe that there is life on other planets like Mars or moons like...the Moon. Just this life wouldn't have evolved separately, but have been bought there from Earth. No those greenies aren't at it again, I'm talking about bacteria hitching a ride on a lunar lander or two. Now NASA says that they thoroughly clean the ship before launch, but if life can survive at the bottom of the ocean in boiling hot waters I fairly certain they can survive bleach (This isn't all they do). Of course this isn't the only possibility and there might be life on Mars that didn't originate on Earth but it would most likely be underground.

Now let us get back to the question at hand. If life were to only have evolved on Earth, that suggests that in the almost infinite volume of space, with literally billions of stars if not trillions, that Earth is special. I though we got rid of that when we debunked the Earth-is-the-center-of the-universe theory.

Now I have more to say but I'll tell you next post. Right now I wish to talk to you about something but first,

*POINTLESS*

Lots of people will think that Doom is mentioned as in these blogs chronicle disasters. But this is wrong. Doom is actually a hero. Here is his title.

Doom, defiler of logic, destroyer of fun incarnate, hero of the battle of Toy'R'Us, Destroyer of New Jersey, Rebuilder of New Jersey, Subsequent Destroyer of New Jersey, Subsequent Builder of a hole where New Jersey should be, Doctor Manhattan's boss, Creator of Coca Cola, Leader of the 'I hate Diet Coke' society, Slayer of Grues, Creator of Grues, Owner of the phrase 'Beware of Grue', 'There is light, Grues will be eaten by Doom', Owner of the Dark Tower, manager of the Devil's fiddle career, Overlord of this and every dimension, Why there is no life on Mars, what fear fears, why the world's horrible, subsequently why the world is good, the Powerful and Intelligent Wizard Morphumax, Owner of the black sedan parked in the disabled lot, teacher of Roland, He who's mother was a hamster and who's father smelt of Elderberries, Slayer of Chuck Norris, Death and all his friends, the Question, the Beam itself, Author of "How to be a Evil Villain", the one who always knows where his towel is, Schrödinger god, the Lord of the Rings and the glorified slayer of Edward Cullen.

Goodbye

Who keeps not commenting? Stop it!! It's not funny you know.

Yes hello to all of you and as you may have guessed I am all very disappointed in your non-commenting phase. Once upon a time I was getting 5 comments a post. Now look. I'm lucky to get two. And I'm being serious. Thank you to both Emily and Chris who have continued to comment. And remember if you have a comment you can post anonymous.

Now I am here to you to discuss more about the evil price differences in stores. I have recently come up with a definition for the executives of 'Borders':

Executives of Borders: (n) A bunch of pompous, greedy, idiots who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.

Curiously a copy of the Encyclopedia Britannica that I got from a time travelling trip to the year 3000 described them as:

Executives of Borders: (n) A bunch of pompous, greedy, idiots who were the first against the wall when the revolution came.

So back to seriousness. If you have ever been to an honest to god game store you would realise how expensive they are. Copies of Far Cry 2 that were used were $80 at EB games, while brand new copies were $85 at Big W.

But before I rant on about the same thing I did last week I've decided to think before I write. So new topics. New topics. What do I have to rage about? Oh yes.

I have officially decided that it is physically impossible for me to take over the world. This is because of how easily I feel guilty. On my birthday me and a bunch of other people (I know it's meant to be 'a bunch of people and I', but I think that the way the English language is going it will become the way I've wrote it) were in Newcastle. A lot of you were there so you should remember this. Well we stumbled along a fair (carnival, theme park, what ever) and one of the many things that we found was a game where you can win prizes (as you generally do at fairs). And Rhiannon won a plastic crown. She wore this for a while and at the end she asked if she should take it off, I said yes citing the fact that it looked ridiculous.

Now here is where it get's interesting. Instead of letting her take it off, I took it off for her. Well it sought of broke. Not significantly just one bit from it. Now she stopped talking to me for a while (and forgot it was my birthday) but we talked again before she left. However I felt majorly guilty for the next couple of days about it. On Thursday I brought her a stuffed animal so I felt better. But that's beside the point (and anyway I just really wanted to buy her something, that was just an excuse. Still felt guilty though).

So anyway as you can see I will not be taking over the world. Unless I bluff my way through. Then I would probably still feel guilty about that. And then I would give it back.

So anyway I will be going now.

Bye.

P.S. Rhiannon. No guilt trips ok.

"It's like communism but it works." - Me, 2008

It appears once more that I have nothing to talk about. This is rather irritating unless you are some sought of demon that thrives on the boredom of humanity. Thankfully such things don't exist so we don't have to worry about their noxious influence.

What to talk about. Well my birthday was pretty fun and I thank everyone who went to it for coming. You are all heroes of our age as opposed to Solo Guy who is a hero of all ages simultaneously. So the only way to get more heroic is to drink Solo (honest to the God I don't believe in this is not an ad).

Also I would just like to thank everyone who commented on last weeks blog. It was a change form my normal non-serious work and I hope you all see how important it is that I actually look in that direction. So after a quick bit of thinking I have come up with a topic to discuss this week, the incredible over pricing of the shopping chain 'Borders'.

Now I went to Kotara with Rhiannon yesterday and it came to both our attentions the price difference between 'Borders' and everywhere else. Now I bought two things from 'Borders' a Doctor Who DVD and a book called 'Time Travel in Einstein's Universe' by J. Richard Gott (an incredibly complicated book and that I somehow managed to determine anything from it is a miracle unto itself). The Doctor Who DVD was $30 and only had 3 episodes on it. Although anywhere else it is still pretty expensive it would be $25. Even K-Mart which is ludicrously expensive no matter what it claims still only costs $25 when it comes to Doctor Who.

Another example is the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Angel' DVDs at 'Borders'. At Big W they are only $29 however at 'Borders' $33 (although Big W does always seem to have a sale on as Buffy is $29 at anytime you find it). But that isn't too bad compared to the ultimate in DVD overpricing. A NCIS season at JB-HiFi (which is normally a bit overpriced) $35. The price of the a season of NCIS at 'Borders', well I am going to have to make a who sentence in it's own paragraph for this.

$85.

Yeh. It's that bad. Ok it might have only been $80, I can remember the exact price but it's still massively overpriced. And it's not only DVDs. The book ('Time Travel in Einstein's Universe') cost $27 whilst only having 300 pages, 250 of them actually mattering. Add on to that the crease that appears down the back and the fact that it was published in 2001 and has been at the shop for that long it's really not worth it. Other books were still pretty expensive being between $30 and $60. This small book was the cheapest. Compare this to the 450 pages in a book I got from Angus and Robertson perfect condition and almost all the pages are relevant. This book was also $27. How these price differences be allowed.

Richard Dawkin's 'The Greatest Show on Earth' which I got for $22.50 at Big W (sale) and saw at Angus and Robertson for $32 was $37 at 'Borders'. Everything is so ridiculously overpriced. I wouldn't have bought any of this if I didn't already have Gift Cards for Borders that I got on Tuesday. It just goes to show you that no one gets their moneys worth these days. Come on Prices Justification Board; I know that fuel prices are ridiculous but you should realise that their are other major price problems.

So I ask you this week have you ever had major price problems with things you bought. Please comment I do like to know that their are people who read my blog and see all these problems that face us.

So here have decided to tell you something about my blog. See:

"It's like communism but it works."

So goodbye everybody.

P.S. Do you like the new font?

I'm not quite bored yet

Congratulations everyone. You have all done your trial school certificate and by god I am relieved. Now I could lapse into absolute pointless ramblings (which someones blog besides mine is slipping towards) but I have more important things to do. That is to talk about the highly controversial topic of teaching evolution in schools.

Now I know that many of you were quite annoyed with how they taught evolution in schools (I recall Dwyer saying that Mr Kelty absentmindedly made an offense comment towards his religion), but it really should be taught in schools the same way religion is taught in churches. Not everyone in the world has the same opinion.

Teachers in the US are suffering from a major problem. They are being blocked from teaching evolution in schools, but not by religious groups. But by the children.

In Richard Dawkin's (the author of 'The God Delusion') latest book 'The Greatest Show on Earth' he devotes a whole chapter of his book to talk about this problem. In this he recalls stories told to him by American teachers (don't laugh, most of them are quite smart) that their students would refuse to let them teach evolution. When one teacher told the students they were about to learn evolution several students burst into tears. There are even worse stories where the children's churches are telling them to ask all these questions in these classes that prevent the teachers from actually explaining something. It is impossible to teach this in many places.

I know that we are a multicultural society but I do feel sorry for what this may do to Britain. The problem now is political correctness. In Britain many Muslims are coming into the country and they have (in many cases) much deeper beliefs than the most Christians. They're Islamic students in university who go up to the biology teachers and tell them to stop teaching evolution. No joke.

And it's working because no one would ever want to be called racist. If you refuse you're a racist and therefore will get in trouble. And now this could go into British schools. Is no one seeing the problem.

Ok now look I'm not against religion. Richard Dawkins appears to be quite against creationism and even god in most cases. I really don't care. All I want is to have evolution taught in science class and to have creationism taught in churches or a different class for those students who find it offensive. Do NOT get rid of evolution from science. Do NOT teach creationism in science, it isn't science. Do NOT call someone a racist because their not politically correct, most of it is insane.

Now I have talked to much so please comment on your views and I'll see you tomorrow (hopefully).

Goodnight.

Stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so by now you must all be wondering what on Earth happened with your last post. And frankly I have no clue. I think I went a little crazy when I wrote that. So because of the insane randomness of most of the posts lately (with the exception of 'Best 2 Days Ever') I have decided to go back to writing about what I started this blog to do. Rage at humanity's stupidity.

Yes that's right. I really don' think much of humanity. There are many reasons for this but I am going to start off with one of the greatest stupid moments in human history. The moment we discovered fire.

Ok according to human history some time long ago, we discovered fire. It is unclear if this was natural fire or something that was created by humans but it matters little. The important thing is that we discovered fire and the most amazing thing happened.

Now you see ask a scientist or a historian about this and they will say that this was the time that humanity distinguished itself from every other species. Instead of running away from the fire went and began to use it for ourselves. This is therefore the point where we see humanities ingenuity.

To them I say 'What are you on'.

If a bombs were being dropped on a city and you decided to run in to see what happens. That is intelligence. That is stupidity. Ok yes if I am going to rage about this I should at least explain that I had, when I was younger, stuck a knife in a toaster. However I think I can be forgiven due to being a lot younger, so maybe the people who got the fire were also very young.

However that is not the point. No wait it is. I think we should all write about the stupidest thing we have ever done and comment on it. Please do it for me.

Ok so I have put off from doing this for a while due to the fact that I needed you to read 'Blood Promise' but now is enough time. So SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!

Christian and Lissa. They broke up and I am very angry. I mean you know they're going to get better eventually but they need to be together for the whole series. It's just mean not to have them together. Oh and Dimitri's still alive, but I saw that coming. Seriously it was so obvious.

Ok so that's it. Please comment and yeh.

Dr Octagonapus. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

And goodnight (or day depending on your time of reading).

Boredom

Well I am now mind boggling bored. The kind of bored that makes staring at a wall suddenly seem terribly amusing. That is how bored I am. Really, REALLY, bored. For a better description of my boredom if the universe was established to be the size of a walnut my boredom would be the size of a planet. Bored.

But I actually have more important things to write about then my boredom. Like the fact that I am not calling you the word I normally call. Yes that is right I am still on my incredibly strange happy high.

*Shock. Horror*

Now I am still wanting to take over the world. But who cares. Happy High. It is wonderful. Unfortunately it doesn't counteract the boredom, which is a disadvantage.

So in case you forgot my habit of making incredibly weird unveilings of the people who have joined the blog (even though it's right up there in the followers part) I will shortly unveil the new person. And in honour of the new Dan Brown novel we will make a Da Vinci Code serious of clues to find it.

Here is the first clue:

Like Oranges Or Kill. Take Oranges. But Absolutely Can't Kill. Or Fairies. Pineapples In Canturbry To Undermine Russian Energies.

Not really that hard.

*There is suppose to be a picture but it won't upload so instead you get this*

*>Go north

Picture Room

You are in a room with a picture. If you look to the back of the picture you can see write.

>Examine back

Back of what?

>Picture

The writing says scroll down

>Scroll Down

So Scroll Down All Ready!*

Ok it's Rhiannon. So now that you are part of the followers of the Chronicles of Doom. As a member of the followers you must read about the deadly secret.

Do you want to know?

Do you really want to know the terrible secret?

Ok the secret is.....

Risin' up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast

You change your passion for glory

Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past

You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat

Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry

They stack the odds 'til we take to the street

For we kill with the skill to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Risin' up, straight to the top

Have the guts, got the glory

Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop

Just a man and his will to survive

It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight

Risin' up to the challenge of our rival

And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night

And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

The eye of the tiger (repeats out)...

Ok so bye.

P.S. I also think I'm insane.

The Best 2 Days Ever!

These last 2 days the most amazing thing has happened and it isn't that I took over the world. Or destroyed one. Or even just something as simple as getting 100% in a science assignment (although that did also happen).

Ok so on Friday Chris and Dwyer were arguing over the pronunciation of Snufflupagus (the mammoth on Sesame Street). This isn't the important part of the story but you need to get through this to get to the good part.

Anyway after they had decided to go onto the official Sesame Street website to find out how they were still arguing. I had spotted Rhiannon in the library sitting by myself and I decided.

"You know what? I'm going to do this. I'm going to ask her out."

After about 10 minutes of wandering up and down the history section of the library trying to ask her out I finally went over there and asked her.

To my complete surprise (although to no one else's) she said yes. However seeing as neither of us had ever had this happen we had to decide what was going to happen. We decided to go to the movies and she gave me her home phone, email and mobile. Safe to say, the next couple of hours didn't follow a logical progression.

Ok so when I got home I called her and we organised a time to go. Well actually we basically just talked for 8 and a half minutes, which is the longest I have ever been on the phone with a single person. We organised the rest of the date using emails.

Anyway today we actually went on a date. And it was pretty damn good. We went and saw 'Young Victoria'. It was actually pretty good. But anyway that isn't the important part of the story. See I was expecting us to feel a weird towards each other where we were both really nervous.

No it was pretty much the same as normal, except the fact that we liked each other came up and we decided that we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. So some good things came out of the date.

The movie would also probably been better if she hadn't been sitting next to me. I mean like I said great movie, it's just a bit hard to follow when your on your first date EVER is sitting next to me. Emphasis on ever.

So after the movie was finished we talked for a little bit before her mum picked her up.

So that is the end of my tale. This has been a really good day. I just hope that you people all hard a good day as well. Oh and could everyone please comment. Thank you.

Ok so bye.

P.S. Notice that I haven't called you something that I normally call you. That is how happy I am.

This Post Needs to be Longer

And I'm back. Yes that is right mortals I am back on my quest of evil blog writing. It is amazingly pointless just like always and almost no actual points from my life are on it.

Now I hope you all like my blog from last week. However judging from the lack of comments you didn't.

Ok where to start this week. Well there is almost nothing except I am currently trying to make an ordered list of the most important to the least important people in my life. I am 2nd from the top. A few of you should be able to guess who is at the top. It is funny though because Emily won't be able to guess. And no one tell her. Or else.

Ok so what else to talk about. Oh yes. I want to know what are the best (and by this I mean the worst) pick-up lines of all time. So far all I have is:

"Hey baby. If looks could kill, you would be a oozy."

So I which to know what you can find/ come up with. They don't have to be hilarious, only incredibly stupid.

Another thing. Can other people please start commenting on Amy's blog. Seriously. Every week I am the only one who comments. And don't pretend you don't know where it is because half of you are already following it. For any of you who don't it is 'Diaries of Satan's Girl' on the top of my blogs that I follow list.

Ok so I think that is it. I don't know if there is anyone else to write about so I'm sorry for the lack of length of this blog.

So until next time

'Lawyers. Don't you people sleep during the day?'

Goodbye

P.S. The hamster is attempting to summon the hamster god to bring about the Hamsterok. Stop feeding it.

The Twilight Doom

Now it is time for all you mortals to enter the strange sub-stream of conciseness that lives outside time and space, yet all the while existing directly in plain sight. You are about to read the Chronicles of Doom.

In tonight's blog post we come across a curious specimen. A tale of absolutely apocalyptic proportions and quasi uber science that defies the mind and logic yet making perfect sense to anyone who has too much time on their hands. Some people are looking in the dark. But what they might find in their is beyond reasoning.

OK enough of the really pointless introduction (for those of you who didn't understand that, it was a Twilight Zone reference). Welcome back to the Chronicles of Doom in the last week since I made an incredibly random party for Emily's induction into this most evil blog (a present will be on the way but don't expect to get it as the cursed monkeys don't understand the concept of addresses) we have a new inductee.

Now I could have made a carbon copy of last weeks induction, however that would be boring and no one wants that. So this week we have put the name of the new person on the block in the form of an Indiana Jones style adventure. That name however can not be used for copyright reasons so please welcome Iowa James. Can he get us the information we need. Probably not but let's find out anyway.

*Iowa enters the cave*

*Walking forward he is attacked by spiders that cling to his clothing (ha ha; he suffers from arachnophobia)*

*Entering the chamber Iowa exchanges the envelope for a copy of Bram Stoker's Dracula that he happens to be carrying (no one will miss it)*

*With no traps being activated he casually heads back only to have a huge boulder chase him*

*Running away he trips and the boulder runs over and kills him*

Oh. That was....... disappointing. Ah screw it. Amy is the new blog member. Yes that's right she has joined such prestigious individuals as....

.........

..............

..................

I've got nothing.

Ok enough of the really pointless things I have been talking about. Now for proper info about nothing. Today I finally actually performed the experiment for the science assignment. It was about time to seeing as the assignment is due in a week and a bit from now. Mine took me about 20 minutes so it was rather easy. I wouldn't want to do one that took several weeks to do because that would be incredibly annoying.

So how was your weekends. Mine was uneventful as usual, mostly watching movies, playing games and doing homework. I really need some friends from school to live near me. Honestly it would be very helpful.

Ok so if you haven't gone insane from reading my blog I salute you. So until next time.

"Exterminate"

That was the hamster. He just killed some monkeys. Feed the hamster before he shoots you with the laser. He may be cute but don't underestimate him.

Ok so goodbye

Oh yes and if you were wandering about those people in the dark and what happened to them. Well they wandered into the slavering jaws of a lurking grue. It just goes to show, if it's pitch black you might be eaten by a grue. But only in the Twilight Doom.

This is just a quick announcement. Emily Burton won the comp. That is all I what to say so bye.

1 Day to Go

Hello mortals there is only one day to go until we find out who the Prime Minister should be. Yes we are all very excited, because I am slightly more interested in this than an actual election. So far (for all of you who can't be bothered reading the previous comments) the score is:

• Solo Guy: 1
• Emily Burton: 2

Because I can't vote the scores are like this. Otherwise it would be a draw. No offense Emily but you haven't met Solo Guy. He kills peoples with awesome. He walks into a room and half the people die of awesome radiation with the others mutating into a slightly more awesome beings by being there. He is that cool.

OK so before the fatal day comes please get others to vote too. This is actually more a message for Chris, but I want as many votes as possible during this election.

The last note for today is that I would like to welcome a new follower to the Chronicles of Doom. Here I have an envelope with the name of the person in it, so read on to find the answer to the question of who it is (or you could look at the followers and do the math. It's not that hard. Come on, I dare you).

OK for those who didn't which to risk it (or are just lazy),

Drum role please

*drum role and I open envelope*

Miss Emily Burton come on down,

*Cue, 'The Price is Right' theme music*

Yes that is right. Emily Burton is now a follower of the Chronicles of Doom and from everyone here at the Chronicles of Doom (I have a whole room full of monkeys coming up with things to put in here (which is probably why it is so bad), which is also probably a waste of money considering there are only 3 followers) we would like to wish you a warm welcome.

OK so the last last note. Does anyone else think that by adding '...of Doom' to the end of something, it either makes it sound threatening or really cheesy. Send me your thoughts.

OK the last last last thing does anyone else hate Australian Idol, but love watching the auditions. Please comment.

OK last last last last thought. Nothing just teasing.

OK so until hell freezes over (this will happen when Emily becomes who should be Prime Minister (sorry Emily))

Goodbye

P.S. It is pitch black. You may be eaten by a grue.

Shame

I am ashamed. Yes that is right mortals you should all feel very ashamed of yourselves. After one week there has only been 3 votes for the Prime Minister and one of them isn't even real. So now we have to commence the nextstage of the competition .

You can vote for either:

• Solo Guy

Or

• Emily Burton

So you must cast your votes now, otherwise there will be chaos. So if you could get your friends to vote, we will find out the Prime Minister (I know that by saying this I am signing my own death warrant).

Ok so until next time

All praise Solo Guy!

Prime Minister ?

Hello mortals, now I haven't published anything in a while, which is mostly because I wanted people to take the personality quiz. This however probably won't happen though so I now want to go back to this blog's original purpose. The absolute stupidity of the majority of humanity.

Now today I was watching Sunrise and I was astounded by one of the news articles. They may have developed a vaccine for Swine Flu. This would obviously be a boom, however they haven't yet begun human trials.

Ok so that's fine, because it might work and stop a lot of deaths. However the government has already got it's hopes up and ordered 21 million of the vaccine. And in case you aern't smart enough (and if you're reading this article and aren't seeing a problem already, you're probably aren't), that is one for every person in Australia.

Yes ok that really isn't a problem, I know but considering the fact that it could take several more months to get the vaccine right it's probably a little early to be popping open the champagne. Also since by the this time the virus would have mutated so the vaccine really would serve well (besides making a slight resistance to the virus).

Ok so this really isn't the best example of the governent's stupidity, but it does frustrate me. It really is just an extension of my belief that know one who wants to be in charge of something should ever be allowed in charge. We don't want any more Hitlers, or Napoleons, so we should just drag the nearest reasonably intelligent person to the podium and threaten to shoot them if they don't lead.

So that leads me to this weeks question. Who should be made Prime Minister of Australia. We will consider each suggestion equally and if at the end of the week I will announce who should be in charge of Australia. Don't vote for yourself and if you do a paddy wagon will be sent on route to your house.

So let's see who should be in charge of this country. I vote for Flick as it would be hilarious.

So until next time.

Hamsters are evil and they used to run the Soviet Union.

Goodbye

Vampire Academy

Yes once again it is time for the Chronicles of Doom and this time I want to write about one of my favourite pieces of Vampire literature. The Vampire Academy series.

Before you continue reading you should probably know that this will contain spoilers mostly for Shadow Kiss, so if you don't which to read these stop reading.

Ok so first thing is first 'Blood Promise' will be coming out (according to Richelle Mead's website) on the 31st of August. I am going to try and read the rest of the series so that it lines up perfectly with the release date. I must find out what happen to Dimitri.

I used to like the Strigoi until they turned him into one and I basically cried at that point. Rose should have been with him for the rest of her life, but now they can't. It is incredibly sad. And yes I am a sap.

2nd thing is that they might be making a Vampire Academy movie.

Yes it would be the greatest possible thing ever, but if they mess it up, they are going to be meet Mr Bat. Dracula I mean. In fact if they don't make it they will also be meeting Mr Bat again. Insert vampire pun here.

3rd thing is I have found an online quiz that tells you which VA character you are. If you haven't read them all don't do it because the comments contain spoilers and for some of the questions it is better after reading the whole series. I'm Christian so all hail Fire magic. The results for everyone who takes the quiz is at the top of the page. By the looks of things it is mostly girls who take the quiz.

It is at this site http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/34HuqMg/Wich-Vampire-Academy-Charecter-Are-You?view_quiz=1

Ok so after (if) you take this quiz please comment on who you are. Also if you like the quiz send it to your friends and get them to comment. I need to know who is who.

Ok so until next time

Destroy All Humans!

Goodbye

P.S. I am sorry for the Mr Bat joke. Everyone knows Dracula can only do that because he uses showy gypsy tricks. Most vampires do not change into bats; that is only a stereotype.

Alfred Hitchcock's Evil Plan

Hello once again mortals and during the time I have between now and Supernatural I am going to argue about horror movies.

This weekend I watched the 'The Blair Witch Project' and I was a little bit dissapointed. Don't get me wrong the movie was great and original, however the ending left a lot to be desired. All I wanted to do is to see what actually killed them, but the filmakers decided to show them falling over while the camera was still rolling (or frozen I couldn't tell). Is it too much to ask for me to see what actually killed them, we assume it is a witch but we really don't know. But that is not really my problem.

My problem is that horror movies have exhausted anything really good and are now just stopping people from doing anything interesting by making it scary. 'The Blair Witch Project' suggests that you shouldn't go camping because some supernatural, very vaguely and never seen monster will kill you. 'Psycho' suggests that if you go to a hotel/motel you will be attacked by a cross-dressing, multiple personality psychpath. With 'Jaws' you will be attacked by a shark if you go swimming. With 'Dracula' it suggests dark castles are scary and full of vampires. And with most other movies don't go into haunted houses.

So can you see the brillance behind their scheme. They are trying to make us stay at home by making everything outside or even other homes seem dangerous. This way people will have to watch more movies because while inside they will have nothing else to do. 'The Happening' goes so far as to suggest that a gust of wind will make you commit suicide. Quite clearly their scheme is brilliant, however it could end society as we know it, but you can stand up.

Instead of watching some horror movie of even a Sci fi movie watch a romance, or a kids movie. This way you are standing up for humantity's right to do something interesting. Save the world people.

So until next time 'All Hail The Crimson King' and goodnight.

P.S. Alfred Hitchcock must be behind it. That conniving devil.

Beginnings

Why hello there mortals who have stumbled upon my blog.
As you are probably aware my name is Jake and I have a rather strange view of the world. Because of this I have decided to open the blog known as "The Chronicles of Doom" as to show everyone else the strange things I notice about this world and humanity.

Todays topic is *ding* how on Earth as Humanity survived this long.
My whole argument stems from the belief that humanity does not appear to be intelligent enough to survive. For instance the debate over whether or not Global Warming is man-made is raging yet there doesn't appear to be anyone who is actually doing anything to prevent the damage. What we should be doing is preparing for the worst as well as trying to stop it. However I don't think there is anyone who could do something about it who would read this post so I will give up on it.

So that is why we can't handle complex issues, so how about simple ones such as 'TALKING TO SOMEONE". This comes from the fact that a friend of mine who will remain nameless doesn't sit next to anyone in Maths. His good friends sit at a two seater table while he sits alone at the wall where there is a corridor between them. However behind them is there is a girl who sits by herself. They are friends and so why doesn't he walk back 2 extra steps to sit next to her and have someone to talk to. However he is to lazy to do this and no he doesn't like her so don't use that as an excuse for him.

So he can basically assume from these 2 examples that humanity can't do the complicated stuff or the simple stuff so I say "HOW THE HELL AS HUMANITY SURVIVED".

I am likely to get some form of comment from this but I must warn you I am unlikely to change my views.

So until next time ponder my question.

Adious amigos.

P.S. This is probably not how you spell either of those words.

P.P.S. If you know me you can probably determine who I am talking about.